Supportive family??

[Aklady09]

Just curious who has the full support of their family in dealing with rosacea (kids, spouses, parents, etc) Also, who has had little to no support and how you deal with it.

Just wondering how you all cope w/ family members who are not supportive or those who don't have family and go it alone.

[faust405245]

I would say my family support me, even though they can't recognise anything's really wrong. They don't know anything about rosacea, keep telling me that I'm being silly avoiding cheese etc, they say stuff like the sun won't hurt you, things like that. So, yeah, while on one hand they're good, kind, etc, they aren't perhaps as tolerant as I'd like.

[argothiusz]

I would say zero to none. They just don't understand no matter how hard I explained. I told my mom and she's kinda care but at the same time, she is giving me an impression that I am being over exaggeration the condition. Also, since I am a guy so that makes it even harder to explain to everyone in the family. Well, I dont blame them.

[Hidden_monster]

I get a lot of compassion from my family, which feels really nice; to have them acknowledge my pain.<3 When it comes to understanding, I dont think anyone can understand just how hard this is if they haven't been there, many other people I know tend to triviaize how I feel about it.

[rose]

None. My husband is not supportive at all. He told me he is tired of hearing about my sd. He suffered severe acne as a teen and has scarring. I guess he thinks I am making a big deal out of it. I wish he was more supportive because this is destroying me little by little. I have to keep it all to my self

How can I ignore it if this shit is all over my face

ooops I just realized you mean support for rosacea!

[christine123]

My mom is really good about it, explaining to my dad when he says something like, 'wow, your face is really red!' that it's part of my 'condition' and she usually tries to help me calm it down. My sister asked me to explain it so I think she's starting to understand now. I think I talk about my skin a little too much to them, so that there's a danger of them growing tired of hearing about it, but usually when I perceive they're losing patience I stop talking.

[Melissa W]

Rose,
I think Aklady means support in general about any of our conditions so no worries there.

HM,
At least they are supportive and show compassion and as you say, if they aren't dealing with the condition themselves they can't know exactly what you are going through. But that isn't critical, it is the support and compassion that is most important.

Argothiusz,
I am sure your family loves you very much. I think sometimes our family tries to put it in perspective for us (though by diminishing it makes us feel badly) in order for us to live our life to our fullest. Most family mean no harm and only want what is best for us and are doing it the best way they know how. I know my mom (and dad and sister) don't mean to make me feel badly when I am flaring and they say it is no big deal because they mean well. They want me to put my symptoms in perspective and be happy and not let it affect my life. So I appreciate that. Though sometimes you just want a big hug and to be told how unfair it all is (they never do that sadly)
But then, pity party over because life needs to be lived to the fullest!

Faust,
I hear you on that because my mom thinks I am crazy to avoid certain foods and she gets upset when I am visiting and won't eat so much of what she has made. However, she is supportive in that she makes special food just for me (I am a vegetarian) and I appreciate that. We can only expect so much from others. We really have to find what we need from within and try and tolerate what we preceive to be others shortcomings. I have to admit I get annoyed at others when they are insensitive but I try and remember that none of us are perfect...

Christine,
It is wonderful how supportive your family is!
Thanks for sharing that!

Best,
Melissa

[Melissa W]

Sorry, I forgot to respond to your post.

I wonder if your husband isn't trying to be supportive in his own way. Men often have different methods of dealing with issues and want to be strong in the face of these things. I bet if you gradually let him see how much it is affecting you and if you tell him you just want him to listen and be there for you no matter what he might be more understanding of what you are dealing with. As a woman we have a different perspective on issues and how to handle difficulties. Gentle communication and acceptance go a long way.

I hope your dear husband can be more supportive to you and give you what you need once you have a heart to heart. It may be helpful to have him read some of the threads dealing with the psychogical aspect of dealing with skin diseases in general.

Best of luck!

Melissa

[Bubdylan]

The one friend and one family member I've tried to explain it to couldn't care less. But in my case - and I would venture to guess it's this way in many cases - the response to my rosacea concern is pretty well in line with their response to any problem not directly concerning them.

Not saying this to be cynical, but genuine human sympathy just isn't that common from where I stand. Sometimes people even hold your suffering in contempt if they decide you are feeling sorry for yourself, etc.

I'm guilty of it, too. There are cases here on this forum where, judging from the photos, I have been tempted to think, "good grief. I would kill to look like that What's their problem?" So, instead of offering any sympathy, I basically roll my eyes the way my friend rolled his at me.

It's been a lesson to me about striving to feel other people's suffering and never blow it off. But in the meantime, it's a nightmare having something as marginalized as rosacea. It just doesn't register for people. It's like, Oprah never did a show on it, so it gets no love.