Women who can no longer tolerate makeup....

[squirrelgirl6]

Hi!

This goes out to any women on the forum who have for most of their lives been able to use make up but since developing rosacea are now intolerant and how you are coping (or not coping) with that?

As a woman, for me, being no longer able to use make up, is harder to deal with than the actual pain of rosacea.

This thread may have been covered before (so apologies) but I'm just falling apart because I can no longer tolerate ANYTHING. Have tried everything everyone has told me to try on this forum. I'm not wanting help re. this, I'd like to know females opinions.

I want to know form other ladies out there the impact this has had for them, should they be in the same situation. As much as people tell us '...it's what's inside that counts' when it comes down to it, I would think, that the vast majority of women would say they could not live without their make up and what it does for them in terms of confidence and looking their best. I've asked all my girlfriends and female family members how they would feel if they were not allowed to wear ANY make up again for the rest of their lives....the answers all came back as..'...there's no way in Hell!!!!' I know what I look like without make up. I also know how totally amazing and better I look with it on. It's a true fact that even a bit of foundation etc can do wonders for a womans appearance.

It's all around us. Society doesn't 'do' non made up. How many women walking round town will not have make up on??? No many I bet.

I just cannot get my head around it. I look in the mirror at my bare face....damaged beyond belief because of rosacea and I have no way of covering it up. I'm absolutely dying to do what I used to every day......wash, cleanse and apply the make up. It's just what women do isn't it? Every day, across the world. (yes, I know some don't but...) I don't know what the hell to do with myself. I see my friends etc when they pop by...and I am eaten up with jealousy of them being able to wear make up. To look and feel good about themselves.

To go out on the town with my mates..to a bar, club...even a Wedding etc..getting ready its the gorgeous outfit, the hair, the make up.....I don't want a life without it. You can call me shallow...I don't care coz if you were honest, you'd love to be able to cover your rosacea and look good for once without having to worry about your face. (for those who can't cover up, I know a lot still can wear make up)

So, if anyone is out there who has gone from a religiously wearing make up all your life to now bare faced? How are you coping?. Please don't say 'you're a lovely person despite no make-up' etc etc etc. I've tried to think like that but I can't.

Thanks for your help.

[Auburn]

Every day, across the world. (yes, I know some don't but...)

Try many.

You are very young and so are your friends.

I quit wearing makeup in my early 30s, after almost 20 years of 'religious' use. I wouldn't even think of leaving the house without my "face on." Why did I stop? Mainly because I got tired of the whole stupid ritual and of being so dependent on it.

Most of the women I've met in the past two decades don't wear makeup either. Many of them are professional women with demanding careers who weren't born with flawless complexions or particularly beautiful faces. You'll see them "made up" occasionally but, if you were to ask them, they'd say I just can't wait to get home to wash this crap off my face.

You'll probably find this post not helpful at all because, unlike you, I was not forced to stop wearing makeup, it was my decision. And, regretfully, I can't fully relate because I've never been in your situation nor do I personally know anyone who has but I do know that the more one obsesses about one's difficulties, the harder they are to put behind.

[squirrelgirl6]

Thanks for your reply. I'm soooo sorry if I was rather blunt in my post. I hate myself for being like this. I am a very caring and thoughtful girl and care sooo much about others. I hate what this disease has done to me!! I'm sorry. It's just coz I'm very ill with other long term illnesses and housebound because of them, have been very sick since I was 18...and the rosacea has been my final straw. I only sound angry and upset because my life has been taken from me due to illness and this is just another thing that's been taken. I'm not 'woe is me'....I'm a fighter who is strong and have got through many many horrid things that have happened to me...I guess I just needed to vent a bit right now.....

I apologise if I upset anyone by appearing 'shallow'. This is so far from the truth about me.

I guess I'm of a generation surrounded by glossy mags, perfect people with perfect faces and a bombardment of make up ads and friends who are really into it all. Maybe if I was older..I wouldn't care so much about appearances. It's jyst been a huge shock to me to lose something that was part of my life and will take time to get my head round.

Lynne xxx

[Auburn]

I hate myself for being like this.

Please don't. You have been dealt an unfair hand.

I only sound angry and upset because my life has been taken from me due to illness and this is just another thing that's been taken. I'm not 'woe is me'....

You don't sound angry. You sound very tired of it all and understandably so.

I guess I just needed to vent a bit right now.....

Venting helps.

I apologise if I upset anyone by appearing 'shallow'. This is so far from the truth about me.

You don't appear shallow. Not at all. And I think the world of you, honestly.

I guess I'm of a generation surrounded by glossy mags, perfect people with perfect faces and a bombardment of make up ads and friends who are really into it all.

Yes, that's a big part of the problem.

Maybe if I was older..I wouldn't care so much about appearances.

You would still care about your own appearance but not as much about what other people do/think. I guess that's one of the few good things about growing old.

It's jyst been a huge shock to me to lose something that was part of my life and will take time to get my head round.

I know, darling, I know.

Focus on getting better now and brush negative thoughts away. Makeup is just a tool and an illusion.

Wishing you the best, as always.

[squirrelgirl6]

Auburn,

Bless your heart!

Thank you so much for taking the time to reply to my post in such detail and with such kindness and compassion and understanding.

I don't have parents to turn to as they died when I was young. I guess that's why I come on here and vent as I just have no one to talk to when I need a hug and someone to say 'It's ok. It's all going to be alright'

You're all so kind and I feel terrible for moaning at you all in my posts.

I thank you from the bottom of my heart. You have really been a huge support and I feel alot better having talked to you and got off my chest what I never tell anyone else.

THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Auburn]

We have more than just rosacea/seb derm in common, my dear. I wish we lived closer.

Feel free to PM/email me anytime.

[jasota]

Hi

have you tried using oatmeal powder?? I read this a couple of months back on the makeupalley website.Personally I do not have rosacea but I do use oatmeal alot in form of masks.I'm going to post what this girl wrote as her review..I'll post the link too.I hope it helps.


"I have advanced rosacea and SD that react to EVERYTHING, and thanks to another MUA reviewer, I recently discovered the wonder of oatmeal face powder. It’s great, great, great! I grind up the oatmeal to a fine powder, sift it to eliminate larger clumps, and apply it to a dry face (first applying a little jojoba oil and waiting for it to dry). Then I wipe off any visible clumps with a cotton pad. No, it doesn’t cover much, but the anti-inflammatory action of oatmeal (ref: NIH site) keeps my rosacea from turning bright red. And if I leave it on overnight, it’s even better. I’ve also used it over sunscreen and discovered that my face is less inflamed from the sunscreen. To make sure it stays fresh, I keep the ground oatmeal in a glass jar in the refrigerator and replace it every few days. Thank you, “footballove” reviewer for the oatmeal powder idea—I’m very grateful! (See her review under Oatmeal Masks, dated 2/29/09.)
Note: to make the powder even more effective, I sometimes mix in a just a tiny bit of ground licorice root, which is also calming/anti-inflammatory (ref: NIH site). However, since licorice root can also raise blood pressure and some makeup ingredients include penetrators, I’d suggest checking with a doctor on whether this is safe for you to use.
Now for the not-so-great part: Like other loose powder, oatmeal powder goes everywhere and it can be a pain to clean up. Also, it does clump easily, so a damp face and oatmeal powder don’t tend to mix. (Even dry, it’s necessary to carefully check your face for visible clumps.)
Overall, highly recommended to calm faces down! (Oatmeal also helps absorbs UV rays.)"

http://makeupalley.com/product/showr.../ItemID=73957/

Also I just wanna say this will pass...I know its real crappy when your down..I was really really down yesterday but I'm sorry I dont have the perfect words its real shitty cause right now Im thinking what is it that I would like to hear when my mood is in the dumps..nothing really.
My parents poor things they tell me People have it worse..And i always scream back well "y me"..Im not people.."I've had enough"
Im jus trying to be positive right now..it takes alot..I know.

[jasota]

Auburn

I jus wanna say ...you are the best

[banshee]

There is A LOT of pressure for women to be perfect, and it's now extending into having to be "sexy" until you basically die of old age.

Of course everyone wants to feel appealing, but b/c of society and the media, I think for some makeup is as much a part of what defines you as a woman as breasts or being able to have children. So whenever any of those things are taken away, it's devastating and makes you question who you are.

I struggled with appearance issues long before my Rosacea because of the above, so when it hit, it was like my worst nightmare. Even now when I know it would be better for my Ocular R to not wear mascara, I still do.

I can't tolerate the chemicals in most makeup either, the one exception is mineral makeup. It's enabled me to handle heat, wind, cold, and sun like I couldn't before without such severe consequences. It behaves like a barrier when mine doesn't function right.

I am in awe of women who have the inner peace to wear no makeup. I do it occasionally out of necessity, and b /c I refuse to spend more of my life being a slave to the mirror, but I'm not fooling myself- I feel more confident when I have it on.

As an artist, I'm fascinated by makeup artistry and there's odd comfort in making me feel like "I used to" by reading about it. Still, I think our culture is too superficial and the wrong message is being given to young women you are not good enough the way you are.

In short, I have a love/hate relationship with makeup. I don't think it's wrong for people to want to look nice, but even the prettiest makeup in the world doesn't make you a beautiful soul.

You're a beautiful soul, squirrel.

best wishes-
Kristen

[Melissa W]

Dear Lynne,

It is difficult becoming comfortable enough with ourselves inside and out to stop being aware of how we look all the time. When I go to work or out I usually wear some sort of makeup which includes cover up of any pink/red areas and of my under eye circles. It just allows me to feel more confident when I am around my work colleagues and acquaintances and friends.

However, when I am home and with my husband I am totally comfortable to be without any makeup whatsoever blotchiness be damned! I am not self conscious at all to be without makeup around him (or my other family members). And when I am just running errands etc I usually wear no or very little makeup.

This did not happen overnight though. It took a long time for me to be just as comfortable with who I am on the outside as I am with who I am on the inside.
I am a very introspective person and very in touch with my feelings so that helped immensely. As well as having a supportive family who loves me for me and not for how I look. It does take strength and confidence but you certainly have the inner beauty and strength that you need to be at peace with this. Not to say that you accept where you are now. Not at all. Because you are far from done with looking for relief and I know you will find it at some point. But in the meantime, I know you have the strength you need to find the confidence to be who you are and not let these conditions define you. Peace is ultimately the goal. Peace with you are and where you are and living the best way you can while looking for answers and being at peace with that.

You know how much I think of you and how I wish I could do something to help you find some answers. Obviously I am not the only one who feels this way and that is because of who you are.

Biggest hugs,
Melissa