Uncaring people

[rosaceastriken]

Humans are universally selfish and uncaring, never evincing even a scant amount of sympathy for your pain. And instead of offering to help, they trivialize your problems, overwhelming you with how coldhearted and uncaring they truly are. I've learned to accept that this is the way the world works. The hostility of some people still brings me to tears at times, however.

[MasK]

Humans are universally selfish and uncaring, never evincing even a scant amount of sympathy for your pain. And instead of offering to help, they trivialize your problems, overwhelming you with how coldhearted and uncaring they truly are. I've learned to accept that this is the way the world works. The hostility of some people still brings me to tears at times, however.

They don't know what they're doing, forgive them.

[queta]

Humans are universally selfish and uncaring, never evincing even a scant amount of sympathy for your pain. And instead of offering to help, they trivialize your problems, overwhelming you with how coldhearted and uncaring they truly are. I've learned to accept that this is the way the world works. The hostility of some people still brings me to tears at times, however.

I agree that there are a lot of selfish people, but I don't think it's universal. Think about all the people on this forum who take their time to help and offer support and advice. Sometimes we tend to focus on the negative and forget all the positive there is in the world. Read some of Melissa's posts and you'll get a fine example of a truly caring, selfless person who only wants to help others.
Regards,
Queta

[rosaceastriken]

Yes, caring individuals are certainly plentiful on the Rosacea Forum. But, there's also a lot of ugliness in the world, too. I see it every day, especially in my own family. In my experience, people will turn a blind eye to your afflictions, so long as it doesn't affect them personally.

[Brady Barrows]

While generally speaking you are correct, there are exceptions to the rule. For example, take Warren Stuart, the owner of this forum and assistant director to the RRDi who unselfishly provides a way for you and others to post your rosacea problems and get some feedback from others who care as this thread has shown you. The RRDi is made up of volunteers who are trying to do something about rosacea and we will finally be releasing our first journal hopefully by the end of the year totally done by voluntary contributions. The fact that so many rosaceans come together to discuss this subject is truly an exception to the general rule which you have so clearly written. So there is hope and some truly caring people.

[Judworth]

Rosacea and other diseases don't need negativity, yes, there will always be selfish &
hurtful people around, however, I didn't think too much about people with skin-related
problems before rosacea struck.

Try to surround yourself with people who at least care enough to try & understand a little of
your daily battles.

As others have said, this forum is a true example of just how wonderful people CAN be.

J

[Melissa W]

Humans are universally selfish and uncaring, never evincing even a scant amount of sympathy for your pain. And instead of offering to help, they trivialize your problems, overwhelming you with how coldhearted and uncaring they truly are. I've learned to accept that this is the way the world works. The hostility of some people still brings me to tears at times, however.

I totally understand how you are feeling
I think we all do unfortunately.

The best thing you can do for yourself is to realize though that no one is perfect. In fact, most of us (me included) are far from perfect. There are very few Mother Teresa's out there for sure. However, having said that, most people are more good than bad (I like to think so) and given the chance will do the right thing. I just think that life gets so crazy and overwhelming at times that people don't even realize they are being insensitive. Most people are dealing with their own little mini crises/dramas and are wrapped up in that not realizing they may be neglecting you in your time of need.

For example, I know my family loves me. However, they can appear insensitive at times to what I am dealing with concerning my rosacea flushing and burning symptoms. I know that they care about me and love me yet I feel they are not always there for me concerning this issue. So I try and realize that they are only human and it just doesn't fall on their radar as much as mine. They have their priorities and are dealing with stuff just like I have my issues. It's OK. I fall short for them on certain issues I am sure. None of us are perfect and as much as it hurts sometimes it is a fact. Doesn't mean they are uncaring people or love me any less.

Sometimes it can be just a matter of simple education though so I would suggest trying to talk to those closest to you that are upsetting you by not supporting you in the way you need them to. In a non-confrontational non-defensive manner and see if you can help them understand what you are going through and how it makes you feel when they behave that way towards you. Life can be hard and it helps to have supportive people in your life who can be there for you when you need them and vice versa. No one should have to go it alone or give up on people in general. Remember no one is all selfish or selfless. We are a mixture of characteristics and I believe most people have good intentions. It's just that they don't always realize what the other person needs from them. Communication is key in getting what you need.

Hang in there rosaceastriken. We are always here for you but I think if you look hard enough you will see that others can be too.

Hugs,
Melissa

ps Queta, many thanks for your too kind words.

[Mistica]

It is very true that many people these days are so overwhelmed with life that they simply don't realise how insensitive they are being. Life is driven at a far greater pace then it was years ago. Some working parents barely have time to cater for themselves and their families.
However, many people have become very self centred.
I have lost count of the amount of times I hear the words " It isn't my problem", about whatever issue is being discussed at the time. Few people want to put themselves out and help others. Especially if it means inconveniencing themselves.

How many rosaceans here suffer in a hot room simply because normal people are too self centred to put on a sweater and have the air con on? Even some spouses of the rosaceans here are guilty of this. What excuse do we make for them? Too busy to notice? Too busy to alleviate suffering of one they supposedly love?
How many times have they been told what rosacea really is? Are they too dumb to understand, or they don't want to understand?
It doesn't seem to occur or matter to them, that having to wear a sweater when they would rather not, is not suffering. Nor that having their evening in the warmth will leave their loved one burning for hours, days, weeks. After all, it isn't their problem.

I read posts about office work environments which illustrate the same non caring attitude.

Melissa, I recall a post you made recently, which I felt said it all. You had looked around and noticed that everywhere around you, there are workers, including health professionals, that simply don't care about what they do any more. It is all about dollars. Whether the clients actually benefit, or if the job is performed correctly or not, doesn't matter. There is a lack of pride, ethics and morals these days. A lack of humanity.

We speak about the support for each other here, and Brady speaks about all the volunteers who contribute freely to his rosacea institute.
Isn't it sad we actually have to look around and find such supportive environments though.
They have been created out of need. They don't reflect everyday, general life.

Nice people, truly nice people, who would do something for another without the motivation for self gain are few and far between. And they certainly wouldn't want their perception of pleasure interrupted to make life a little easier for others.
That is a harsh view, but it is the sad reality.

I have noticed, even today during a phone call that I had to make, that if you don't fit into the regular easy box, no allowances will be made for you. That would involve cognitive thought and effort and it seems few people want to actually engage in thinking if they can simply toss you aside and move on to something or someone easier.

Having said all the above, I believe in some instances, rosaceans are partially responsible for the lack of empathy they receive, due to a martyr type syndrome. A stiff upper lip, grin and bear it mentality.
If we are not able to stand up for ourselves and and state our needs, we can't expect others to provide them.

These are my thoughts anyway.

[Mistica]

Nice people, truly nice people, who would do something for another without the motivation for self gain are few and far between. And they certainly wouldn't want their perception of pleasure interrupted to make life a little easier for others.
That is a harsh view, but it is the sad reality.

That was supposed to say..........others certainly wouldn't want their perception... etc

[Judworth]

[QUOTE=Mistica;227134]

"Having said all the above, I believe in some instances, rosaceans are partially responsible for the lack of empathy they receive, due to a martyr type syndrome. A stiff upper lip, grin and bear it mentality.
If we are not able to stand up for ourselves and and state our needs, we can't expect others to provide them".


I personally find rosacea a very difficult disease to explain to others; my Partner & Son are
very aware of what happens to me when I have an attack, however for many others it really
is 'just a red face'.
Sometimes naturally it is better than others, so people assume that it is getting better,
and for my own sanity I want to forget about it too!

Standing up for yourself when your face is flushing,burning, swelling and itching is by no
means easy..............however, yes I do think we can demand more consideration &
sensitivity from others (especially our friends & families).

Jx