Rosacea and depression

[rosaceastriken]

The innumerable complexities of life are wearying enough as it is, so how does one trudge through their days with the burden and debilitation of a chronic and steadily worsening disease? To be bear this pain for years longer would inevitably transmute into a lifelong hatred of not only myself, but others and of the world itself. My thoughts are in constant disarray, and I genuinely believe there is no way to return to a normal way of living. My state of mind has been permanently damaged by this disease, and the ceaseless stress of trying to manage it. How would it be possible to shift my focus on to something else, when this disease has governed every aspect of my life for over 4 years? Sometimes I feel my only recourse is to end my life.

[Judworth]

Oh, I was so saddened to read your post.

Be reassured that so many of us have been where you are now, everyday is defined by the way our faces look & feel , by the way rosacea behaves.

I have had rosacea for 7 yrs now; at the beginning it was very severe, I flushed & flared
at everything, from food & drink,the weather & through every range of emotions.

Little steps,finding what your skin can tolerate, looking at your diet, cutting out the obvious
things but believing that you can put this disease into remission.

I hope that you have support from friends & family as I know this can be such a lonely
misunderstood disease.

I too worry about the future...........but on my good days (of which there are many now) I
am thankful that I am here to fight................

Please believe that you have the strength & ability to heal, hold onto what is good about
yourself...........your face is just a small part of the amazing person you are.
(I know it often commands the most attention!!).

This site is filled with cries for help which are answered & also with success stories.

Take the greatest of care, we are all fighting with you, you are NOT alone.

Judworth

[valby]

RS I was in a very bad state at the beginning of this year. My rosacea, coupled with thyroid probs got the better of me and I fell into a deep depression/anxiety. I started having horrendous panic attacks and waking up in a full blown panic.

Anyway I took the steps to see a psychologist and my GP and started taking Mirtazapine. Now I had avoided the use of drugs for a long time and struggled through some bad depression in the past but I had begun to fear for my safety. I urge you to please go and seek help, you will feel like a big weight has been lifted from your shoulders. I learned that rosacea was not even the real cause of my anxiety. No drugs are not the panacea but they have helped me to get back control of my emotional state. I feel 100 times happier, which I know is helping the healing process.


I am soooo much better a few months on. Back to the gym, starting to get my rosacea under control after trying about 4 antibiotics, roaccutane, 3 laser sessions and 3 derms!! Don't give up hope. There is a solution out there for everyone, you just got to keep plugging away.

I have learned to go out and enjoy my life whether I am having a good or &*^% skin day!

[Melissa W]

Hi Rosaceastriken,

I would urge you to find a professional you can speak with about this. As Judworth and Valby so wisely posted- it is so much easier to bear when you do not feel alone.

When you are deep in your darkest days it can be impossible to see your way clear and believe that things will get better and life will be good again. But it will. The danger is that you may not be able to believe that when you are full of despair but I promise you there will be better days. So, find someone you can confide in and talk with about all your worries, fears etc and you will feel better. It is so much easier to share the burden. A professional is best suited for this when you feel very depressed but we are here too. To listen, empathise, advise and just be here for you.


And eventually, as Valby so succinctly states:

I have learned to go out and enjoy my life whether I am having a good or &*^% skin day!

And that will be you too!

Hugs
Melissa

[Auburn]

Dear rosaceastricken,

I read the post you wrote about the car accident you were in a few weeks ago and the whiplash you suffered which caused a flareup. Is your face still inflamed? How is your ocular rosacea? Is Restasis helping?

Before the accident, was your rosacea somehow under control?

Please tell us a bit more about your rosacea symptoms before and after the car accident. What medication/remedies are you currently taking?

We are here to help, keep posting, OK?

[banshee]

Breaks my heart to read your post...

Like Judworth, I have spent 7 years with the severe form of this condition and many more before that with symptoms. I'm much better now, but I still have to deal with managing my condition and issues from it.

I was beside myself the first year from the excruciating pain, trying to get a diagnosis, the countless doctor visits, total loss as to what to do, feeling overwhelmed etc. I took a Paxil to try and help my moods and it kicked my flushing into over-drive from there on out.

Truthfully, I had probably made enough of a dent in my condition physically around year 3 through laser & RLT therapy to go forward with life. Not without limitations though, and it sunk in my rosacea was going to be "chronic" and I wasn't going to be able to get things back exactly the way they were. So I have been battling another chronic condition since then-depression.

Sometimes it has been paralyzing to think of all the time I have lost and frankly wasted because I didn't understand the challenge and struggle is to find a new life and new normal with the way things are at present. Instead of trying to hold on to the past. However, it's a growth process to learn to let go and live in the now.

It took a long time to grieve for the person I was, and the life I had and envisioned for myself. At my lowest I lost all hope and I believed things were ALWAYS going to be this way. And sometimes, I can walk on the edge of that mentality, but be skeptical of your own mind. When you are in the throws of despair, you see the world through muddy glasses.

I'm in such a better place now. The irony is now my angst stems mainly from trying to figure out how to reinvent myself. What to do with my life, what I CAN do, and who I am after everything I've been through, and it's less so about the rosacea. Even though I carry the emotional scars and insecurities with me, and still have to contend with physical symptoms to a lesser degree than in the beginning.

The rosacea and the depression are not YOU. They're things you have and they will cycle through ups and downs but they can get better.

What I tell myself when I hit a rough spot is that I know what will happen if I don't try, but I don't know what will happen if I do. Keep going despite perceived setbacks.

All the best to you-
Kristen

[valby]

Wow I just wanted to quote this--

It took a long time to grieve for the person I was, and the life I had and envisioned for myself. At my lowest I lost all hope and I believed things were ALWAYS going to be this way. And sometimes, I can walk on the edge of that mentality, but be skeptical of your own mind. When you are in the throws of despair, you see the world through muddy glasses.

I'm in such a better place now. The irony is now my angst stems mainly from trying to figure out how to reinvent myself. What to do with my life, what I CAN do, and who I am after everything I've been through, and it's less so about the rosacea. Even though I carry the emotional scars and insecurities with me, and still have to contend with physical symptoms to a lesser degree than in the beginning.

What a poignant post Kristen

[roz]

Rosaceastricken---

Don't give up. Things will get better. There is alot that can be done with treatment of rosacea. The posters on this board have given you wonderful heartfelt advice.

Kristen...I too was very moved by what you have written. You expressed so beautifully how the courage to go on in the direction of growth , despite one's burdens, is really a noble venture.

Roz

[squirrelgirl6]

Truly blown away by what Banshee wrote.....wow. It's all I've been feeling and going through...put into words and it helped me see that I too am grieving for the girl I was before rosacea and living in the past......thank you for helping me see clearer. My heart goes out to you rosaceastricken, as I feel EXACTLY the same as you do. My feelings are all over the place and Banshee has made me see that it's normal to grieve and feel overwhelmed and confused and despairing...but in time, there will be a light that appears at the end of the tunnel you just have to keep going. I hope that what others have written and the support and experiences they've been through have helped you....we're all here for you and we care very, very much. xxxx

[Melissa W]

Dear Kristen,

Thank you so much for sharing your personal experience. You are a very special person.
We are lucky to have you at the RF!

Melissa