Just an introduction

[humanperson]

Hi,

I've lurked on these forum for a few months now and have finally decided to give an introduction of myself with pictures.

Basically, I've suffered from social anxiety/social phobia all my life. This means that even going out of the house causes me to get extremely nervous and panic. So for years I haven't left the house and never had friends. I've always been very prone to blushing but at some point the blushing turned into flushing. Now I flush almost 90% of the day and, moreover, the flushing has become painful. The redness is permanent in many areas but fortunately I don't have papules and pustules. This has affected me greatly as not always have I been very shy but now I have something new to always be self conscious about. Thus, I've self diagnosed myself with Rosacea as I have been too nervous to go to the doctor to get officially diagnosed. Sometime ago I've become suicidal and have finally got help for my condition. The anti-anxiety medications have helped enough to help me leave the house and talk to people (i.e. buy things at a store, take the bus, etc.). And now I've even tried to get help for the Rosacea but it's still extremely difficult as it takes 3 months or so to get an appointment with a dermatologist here in the Twin cities who might even not know anything about the condition. I'm sure there are more efficient ways to find a doctor but I'm just too nervous to be calling around and asking questions. I want to get laser or IPL treatment and have read some stuff about it at certain medical spas around here, but of course I rather have a doctor do it. And to make things worse all of a sudden getting a girlfriend has become a big deal to me and is something I never had and maybe never will.

So anyways, sorry to ramble but it feels good to get all that stuff out into the open.

http://home.comcast.net/~fungus2004/me1.jpg

http://home.comcast.net/~fungus2004/me2.jpg

Thanks,

Matt

[DonH]

Hi,

I've lurked on these forum for a few months now and have finally decided to give an introduction of myself with pictures.

Basically, I've suffered from social anxiety/social phobia all my life. This means that even going out of the house causes me to get extremely nervous and panic. So for years I haven't left the house and never had friends. I've always been very prone to blushing but at some point the blushing turned into flushing. Now I flush almost 90% of the day and, moreover, the flushing has become painful. The redness is permanent in many areas but fortunately I don't have papules and pustules. This has affected me greatly as not always have I been very shy but now I have something new to always be self conscious about. Thus, I've self diagnosed myself with Rosacea as I have been too nervous to go to the doctor to get officially diagnosed. Sometime ago I've become suicidal and have finally got help for my condition. The anti-anxiety medications have helped enough to help me leave the house and talk to people (i.e. buy things at a store, take the bus, etc.). And now I've even tried to get help for the Rosacea but it's still extremely difficult as it takes 3 months or so to get an appointment with a dermatologist here in the Twin cities who might even not know anything about the condition. I'm sure there are more efficient ways to find a doctor but I'm just too nervous to be calling around and asking questions. I want to get laser or IPL treatment and have read some stuff about it at certain medical spas around here, but of course I rather have a doctor do it. And to make things worse all of a sudden getting a girlfriend has become a big deal to me and is something I never had and maybe never will.

So anyways, sorry to ramble but it feels good to get all that stuff out into the open.



Thanks,

Matt



Hey Matt, first off I would like to commend you for posting pics it takes gut's to do that!! I am glad to hear that the anti-anxiety medications are helping cause the last thing you want to do is hurt yourself!! As far as your skin yes I can see redness but to be honest it really isn't that bad, I think if you really set your mind on finding a good derm. (I mean really looking hard) you would see great improvement with the correct treatment's! I would go to every rosaeca site/forum that I could find and see if there are other's who could recommend a good derm in your area, 3 month's seem's like an awful long wait too me. I know it's hard cause I have been there but your just gonna have to convince yourself that you want the treatment's more than anything else, you will be nervous and embarrassed at times but in the end you'll be glad you followed through! My condition was far worse than yours and in the end after all the treatments I gotta say I feel a whole lot better, I went through 7 IPL's sessions and tried a few other things and have gotton excellent results.

Just curious as to how old you are you look like a fairly young guy.


Hang in there!!

Don

[humanperson]

Hey Don,

I appreciate your reply a lot. I think you are right; my redness isn't that bad. I think I tend to obsess over things and make them worse mentally. Good to hear you are doing better with your rosacea. Do you mind if I ask which machine you had your IPL's done with? Oh, and I've very close to being 26.

Thanks,

Matt

[DonH]

Hey Don,

I appreciate your reply a lot. I think you are right; my redness isn't that bad. I think I tend to obsess over things and make them worse mentally. Good to hear you are doing better with your rosacea. Do you mind if I ask which machine you had your IPL's done with? Oh, and I've very close to being 26.

Thanks,

Matt

Hey Matt, my derm used an aroura! They are IPL treatments that include RF. You really don't look 26 but hey that's a good thing right!!


Below is a link to my derm. here in WA State.


http://www.kirklandlaser.com/solutions-fotofacial.html

[DonH]

Here is the machine http://www.fotofacialrf.com/learn9.html

[francois]

Hey Matt,

I exactly know what you are saying since I experienced similar moods. I made great improvement but I still am not the person I want to be. I still do blush in many social situations which people always comment about. This thing caused me miss the chances of many things that required an interview. I am glad that the medication has taken your condition under control. I only use them occasionally. I am hoping to get IPL treatments some time in the future, it seems far away though.

Your redness isnt really that bad. My red cheeks make me incredibly unphotogenic. To get photographed is one of my biggest fears, as well as looking at the mirror and shaving. We really exaggurate our conditions but once rosacea takes mental control, it gets really hard to beat it.

Take Care Mate.

Your redness is not bad enough to be commneted on.

[mitch]

hello human i would like to know r ur pics during a flare up/flush?

or is that perminent redness.

[humanperson]

Mitch,

Both photos are not of a flush but the way I look all the time. Basically, it seems that I'm in a semiflush all the time in that my face feels warm and irritated. However, the difference between this and what I would describe a real flush is that in the latter I feel my face burning, my eyes feel extremely try and irritated, and I have this painful feeling in the bride across my nose.

Matt

[irishgenes]

OMG, another hottie who thinks he isn't! Are all you rosacea guys so handsome, or just the ones who post their pictures on this Forum?

[fanta]

some of us arent that pretty, strange things happen to our noses :^o

[irishgenes]

LOL, fanta! I had forgotten about those extra emoticons.

Matt, with your looks you can easily get a girlfriend. You just have to get control of the social phobia so you can meet someone. What anti-anxiety drug are you on? Social phobia seems rather common in people with rosacea. I think it is related to the roscea gene. I had it long before I developed rosacea. I remember feeling intense anxiety at people watching me drop clothespins in a bottle during a birthday party when I was 6 and running home to hide under the bed.

I have to take an anti-anxiety drug to go to the doctor or dentist. I also have a fear of having my picture taken, francois. I've never liked it, but lately it has gotten so bad that I was unable to renew my driver's license. Do you work, Matt? Attend school? How many years were you house-bound?

They advertise a social phobia drug on TV--Paxil--though I have never taken it. And there is always Prozac, which helps a lot of people. Flushing 90% of the time is a lot. You need to examine your diet, as certain foods can cause flushing. Are you taking a multi-vitamin with niacin in it? There are some drugs for flushing listed in Dr. Nase's book "Beating Roscea". Do you have the book?

[francois]

Good point irishgenes,

I have always been so scared to get medication. It's because of my family that made me avoided them since all have side effects.

So as a member of R group, I have always avoided medication. I started taking propronadol??? and it helped me incredibly. It used to make me feel a bit bad but I dont have those side effects anymore.

I have heard of paxil as well, I can go and get it from a pharmacy right now and no prescription required.

Since I dont know any p&p, I yet dont know whether I should start accutane but if it really decreases the blood rushing on the face, it might help me as well.

[irishgenes]

Yes, I have been considering taking an anti-anxiety drug to go to the doctor and getting a prescription for propanadol. I have exertion migraines, like if I start uphill on a bike, I get a sudden splitting headache. Propanadol is supposed to be good for that and also for performance anxiety. I can't remember if it is one of the anti-flushing drugs. Is that what you took it for, francois? I've hesitated because it is a beta-blocker, which tends to cause weight gain, and that is the last thing I want or need. Did you get a prescription for the propanadol, francois, or just get it over the counter? Hearing about how you can get everything over the counter there makes me want to go live in Turkey! You are not Turkish, though, are you? French?

Anyway, I am like you and try not to take medications if I can avoid it. I always search for a natural remedy first, and right now I am looking into magnesium and riboflavin for these headaches. But if that doesn't work, I will have to take a prevention drug for the headaches, as they are making my life miserable.

[humanperson]

Irishgenes,

I am taking klonopin and zoloft. I have taken propanadol before as well, but it didn't seem to do anything to me. It seems like my heart races half my waking hours and betablocker didn't do much to slow my pulse rate down or at least it was very unpredictable and maybe a lot more would be required to. As far as what I do, I graduated from the University a few years back and haven't really done much after that aside from a lab job that allowed me to work alone for days. I think a lot of this is just due to lazyness on my part. I avoided things that made me uncomfortable and ended up in a downword spiral.

Matt

[irishgenes]

Well, the zoloft is an anti-depressant, but probably not the best for social anxiety, and the klonopin is an anti-seizure drug. Neither are really anti-anxiety drugs. Is the klonopin supposed to stop flushing? Seems that neither of your drugs is doing what you want. You should ask your doctor to try different drugs for you. Some of your heart racing could be a side effect of one of your drugs. Maybe you are taking too much of one. Doctors tend to give standardized doses of drugs and not tailor them to the individual. Like they will hand out 20 mg a day prescriptions for Prozac to everyone when some people need only 5 or 10 mg. Then some patients go berserk.

[Mr. Red]

I wonder... how many people don't have some sort of issue with their looks? It seems pretty much everyone is dissatisfied to a greater or lesser extent with some aspect(s) of their appearance: too heavy; too thin; too short; too pale; weak chin; big nose; ad infinitum. Even many conventionally attractive people harbor body image issues. Point being, if we didn't have our red faces to obsess over, most of us would likely find some other physical shortcoming about which to feel inadequate. What sort of impossible ideal is it we all imagine we're falling short of?

No, I'm not saying "just get over it." Rosacea is a medical condition that can worsen if untreated or mistreated -- and by affecting our appearance it has pernicious psychological effects as well. So it is good that we're here sharing treatments and support.

But life is not waiting for our symptoms to clear, and neither should we be. We play the cards we are dealt. There's no need to be embarrassed or apologetic about your Rosacea, no more so than a blind person should be shy about their cane or seeing-eye dog. Treat it, but don't be beaten by it.

Matt, you are a handsome young man with rosy cheeks (not even noticeable in the second photo, and not at all bad in the first). What a shame it would be if you let Rosacea prevent you from living your life. Kudos to you for seeking treatment for your conditions (medical and pyschological) and for reaching out to this forum for support. But don't wait for after IPL or the Next Big Cure before you come out of your shell and start living.

"Life is what happens while you're busy making other plans." - John Lennon

-Dave

[fanta]

yeah, you are right! The guys would want some enlargement devices if it wasnt for rosacea. We always feel short of something

[irishgenes]

Mr. Red, I don't think it is the rosacea that is keeping him from living his life. It is the social phobia, which can be paralyzing and keeps some people house-bound (agorophobia). I remember seeing a TV show about a man who lived in his parents' bathroom, and they had to slip food under the door. The anxiety can be so intense--it's hard to explain to someone without the phobia. Have you ever been driving and had to swerve the steering wheel, narrowly missing a collision? That moment of intense physical fear is what many social phobics feel a lot of the time. I still have this kind of reaction to certain situations, like parties, which I avoid. If I can't avoid a situation, like a doctor appt., I have to take a tranquilizer.

[francois]

Hey guys,

I think the only advantage for me as a rosacean in Turkey is that I can get propronadol(?) or accutane without prescription. As a medication I only take propronadol though. I can be of help for people who need it, I can get and send it to you.

Just let me know.

[Mr. Red]

You're right, Irishgenes, it sounds like Matt's chief challenge is his agoraphobia. However, he's taking medication for it and seeing improvement. He goes on to write that with his (self-diagnosed) Rosacea he now has something new to feel self-conscious about. I was trying to give him (and any other self-conscious Rosacea sufferers, which includes me on some days) some ammunition to help shoot down that particular issue.

[fanta]

Hey guys,

I think the only advantage for me as a rosacean in Turkey is that I can get propronadol(?) or accutane without prescription. As a medication I only take propronadol though. I can be of help for people who need it, I can get and send it to you.

Just let me know.
It probably wont enter Denmark, the Danish FDA refused my purchase of Pycnogenol, Grape Seed Extract and GliSODin from the USA.
You would need a prescription for Accutane in Turkey, trust me! However, to my knowledge steroids are non-prescription in Turkey

:top:

[Andy]

You can sit around smoking weed and nothing happens, but you can't get Pycnogenol/GSE? Now that's funny.

[irishgenes]

I just found out something interesting from a relative of mine. He had his DNA analyzed and found out it was Celtic--no big surprise there. Then he mentioned trying to find out more about a certain ancestor on my maternal grandmother's side, and said he was having a hard time because this ancestor had been a recluse who refused to have his picture taken! He died in the early 1900's. This relative did not know that I have social phobia or that I am afraid of having my picture taken, as I haven't seen him since I was a child. But it sure sounds like this ancestor had social phobia.

I remember reading years ago in a magazine that "Fergie", Duchess of York, has a snake phobia, and she said that her father had the same phobia. Of course, in that instance, you might say her father "taught" her the phobia. But here I find that an unknown relative from 100 years ago had a fear of having his picture taken, just like me!

[Sea Swirl]

Hi Matt. Thanks so much for having the bravery to post photos. (I could never do it !)
That is a lot like what my Rosacea looks like in a flare up; I get that red bar right across the bridge of my nose, too.

It seems pretty much everyone is dissatisfied to a greater or lesser extent with some aspect(s) of their appearance: too heavy; too thin; too short; too pale; weak chin; big nose; ad infinitum.

I heard somewhere that across all cultures, it is healthy, unblemished skin that is the most important criteria for beauty. Apparently it's what people look for first, without even realizing it. So, tattoos aside, people are somehow hardwired to find uneven colored or marked skin as the biggest turnoff.
This is probably why skin diseases seem to be more socially crippling than any other type of health issue, especially if it's something that appears on the face.
I think it was one of those David Attenborough (sp?) things about human perception of beauty.


if we didn't have our red faces to obsess over, most of us would likely find some other physical shortcoming about which to feel inadequate.

This is true I'm sure, but the degree of obsession and would not be as great I think. Like most people have some complaint about themselves, but how many people go, "I can't go to this party, because my penis is too small," or "I can't go on a date. Look at my toenail fungus !"
I think it's normal for humans to criticize themselves and see the distance from perfection, but rosacea is one of those things that we end up planning our lives around, unlike the 'average' criticisms.

On the other hand, perception can be worse than any reality. I was watching Oprah a while ago and they had a social phobic guy on there who was really attractive (Think 'Young Lou Diamond Phillips' !) but he thought he was hideous.
He had OCD and would spend 4-5 hours just looking at the mirror and trying to fix his hair and stuff. He had minor acne (Maybe one or two small pimples, and he was a teenager anyway) and in his mind it was horrible and he saw himself as a monster with awful skin. Oprah asked him to look at himself via the cam on stage and he could hardly do it without tearing up and looking away. And this was even with the perfect complexion of TV makeup!

So, sometimes when I really get down on myself about the rosacea, I start thinking that in some ways rosacea is irrelevant because... Well, it's possible to look nearly perfect and be just as miserable and self-hating.

[Spav]

I heard somewhere that across all cultures, it is healthy, unblemished skin that is the most important criteria for beauty. Apparently it's what people look for first, without even realizing it. So, tattoos aside, people are somehow hardwired to find uneven colored or marked skin as the biggest turnoff.

I didn't know that Sea Swirl, oh dear now i'm really depressed. :(


On the point Mr. Red made about us making up other inadequacies. I have to say i also don't agree rosacea is so much more than a red face. I used to have acne when i was younger and yes it was annoying but i certaintly didn't obsess over it and it didn't stop doing the things i enjoy, but rosacea has.

The progressive nature of rosacea can be very dispiriting. Particularly when the things you most enjoy in life make it progress quicker. I so miss going to the pub with friends or to music venues and playing sports but unfortunately they all drive my rosacea crazy.

[lafittevillage]

These posts sorta hit home about the whole rosacea ordeal. I've always been overly critical of my skin because I too suffered from acne at one point. When the acne went away, I was critical of my body because I didn't think it was perfect enough. Now that the rosacea hit, I would gladly give anything to be rid of it and be happy with what I had (acne excluded). I realize now that I really do like how I look (or how I looked) without the rosacea.

I'm trying not to let it cripple me but it is something that's on my mind no matter what. The only thing keeping me sane is realizing that when I'm much older (and with hope, still with my loving partner) I won't care as much about my appearance. of course, that's maybe 40 years away so..in the meant time I have to LIVE, even if this DISEASE is always on mind. I also want to find a cure of sorts. IPL (which i'm worried about because some people dont see it working), topicals (which dont seem to do much), and diet (which so far, I'm not sure how much improvement I've gotten).

I really do give everything to be that girl with the almost clear skin that never worried about another break out..now i'm just weighed down by this and its hard seeing past it.

[Sylvia66]

Wow Matt :shock: You're very good looking!

[francois]

Irishgenes,

I have recently read something on newspaper telling that scientists have found the gene responsible for fear. Very interesting and might be connected with what you are telling.


Fanta,

It is really weird that you can get more than 95% of medication without prescription in Turkey. Interesting too. 5% is the medication for pyschiatric issues such as schzoprenia etc.. Accutane doesnt need to be prescribed but I still cant dare to use it even at very low dose.

[fanta]

accutane + francois = champion du monde \:D/

Dont fear, youll be fine! :wink:

[claudia]

I agree with some of the replies about your medication maybe not being appropriate for your condition of social anxiety. And I also think that not only do rosacians have sensitive skin...all of their body system is sensitive meaning that you may be reacting to what would be considered normal doses of drugs with side-effects such as a rapid heart beat. Also, common foods with caffiene could do the same thing...even at 1 cup of coffee a day or tea. That happened to me! I'm now treating my WHOLE body as very sensitive...no caffiene, sugar, lower doses of drugs, etc. I sometimes take Xanax if I'm feeling anxious...at half dose...it works wonders ;) Just knowing I can take something that works quickly and effectively allows me to use it more as a mental crutch...meaning that I carry it with me but these days rarely actually have to use it. I fortunately have a great doctor who understands this need of mine to have something at hand for anxiety. May I recommend that you seek out a female doctor? They sometimes are more nurturing to patients! Be nurturing of yourself, too...you're struggling with a disease that makes us so self-conscious...even if it's mild. And we can blame our looks obsessed culture on that!!! Do you meditate at all? This can be a nice thing to do for yourself. And if possible get a pet...they give unconditional love always! Remember that we're all thinking of you. You're already making strides in the right direction and I have no doubt that with time you'll have a girlfriend too.