I feel like I'm cheating with makeup!

[sparrow-legs]

Hi everyone hi:

my skin has been up and down of late and I'm feeling a bit down and don't want to get obsessed again. My diet hasn't been the best recently so I guess I have some work to do. It's back home for the summer holidays next week so i'll once again be subject to my mum's healthy cooking!

Anyway, if i'm going out of the house or seeing anyone who isnt family or very close friends, i wear foundation makeup to even out my skin tone. With the makeup i can look lovely as i do think my face is pretty and feminine. (please dont think i am conceited) The thing is, i feel like i am cheating people, especially my boyfriend, because they think i have a beautiful complexion when in fact it is often very uneven with broken cappillaries and sometimes papules. When my boyfriend compliments me, i think 'if only you knew!'. I feel he deserves someone more naturally beautiful than me. Someone who doesnt have to pile on the foundation in the morning.

I dont think I will ever be able to open up to my boyfriend about this or let him see me without makeup in bright light. Not unless i start feeling more confident about myself.

I know millions of women enhance their appearance by artificial means, but that fact doesnt make me feel much better. Anyone else feel like this?

I am taking oxytetracycline, and use good non-irritating skincare. I have had one nd:YAG and one gentle first IPL with Dr Crouch in swindon. I would love to have further IPLs but alas at the moment i have no money Cry:

Thanks everyone,
SL xx

[guishome]

I used to wear foundation make up fpur years ago and my girlfriend told me once that my skin was pretty ,I did flush when she told me that of course (I didn't have intense flushing with swelling back then) but one year later i stop use it because I felt a bit the same way as you. Now I use only a suncream (titnted though) and that's it.

You should speak with your boyfriend and if he loves you , he will understand. Things will be much easier this way.smile:

[Melissa W]

Hi Helena,
Lucky you going on summer vacation soon!

I don't see anything wrong with wearing makeup if it makes you feel prettier and better about yourself. I do however feel that your self esteem needs to be stronger as of course you deserve to have someone wonderful love you regardless of having rosacea! You're a lovely and sweet and intelligent and kind person and deserve the same in your mate. Your physical appearance has nothing to do with your character and if by wearing foundation you feel better about yourself there is nothing deceitful about that. Many women wear makeup. It is not unusual at all. People cover their gray hair and again, nothing wrong with that.

You should not feel any less beautiful though as a person without makeup. Your boyfriend if he is the right person for you will love you no matter your broken blood vessels and papules. And if he is a superficial person where that is an issue for him well I think you know where I stand on that. What kind of partner in life will he make for you if something like appearance scared him away. Life has stressful times and you want someone who will stand by you no matter what. I have said before that having rosacea can be a good way of distinguishing people who are worth your time and energy and those who are not. And for the long haul who would you rather be with. Life is short and life can be difficult at times. You need someone who will love you unconditionally and support you through all of it. Not just the "perfect" times.

Very few people are perfect anyway in their appearance. Most people have something they wish was different. If you can just feel good about yourself for who you are as a person then the superficial stuff won't be as important to you.

Best wishes,
Melissa

[snuffleupagus]

Lucky. Just think of all the people (like me) who cant wear makeup.... it just looks like a mess due to all the flakes and papules (cant hide bumps). I wish someone would tell me my skin is lovely...with or without makeup! Everyone in the world wears, celebrities wouldnt leave the house without it. Whats the big deal?

[allibear]

Well you know me. Even if I had perfect skin I would still slap it on tart: There was nothing much wrong with my skin when I was younger, never really had a problem with spots or blemishes, just highly coloured cheeks and I still would have been paranoid about letting a partner see me without makeup. Big problem was the eyes though I need that mascara or I look half dead!

Always shows the course of 'true love' though when you strip your face bare and pottle about on a Sunday morning without it and he doesn't notice any difference or makes any comment. That might have been due to the Sunday morning hangover thoughlaugh:

[Melissa W]

http://thebeautybrains.com/2009/06/13/scientists-discover-that-wearing-makeup-actually-improves-your-brain/


LOL laugh:

[allibear]

It's all about the 'feel good' factor I think for most women, don't we just love to get dressed up to go out and isn't makeup just part of that. I honestly don't know any woman that doesn't wear a bit of something and spend buckets of money on beauty products over their lifetime.

OK those of us blessed with skin disorders may feel a bit 'pushed' to have to wear it, but there is absolutely nothing wrong with it and nothing to feel ashamed about or a fraud for it in this day and age and if it makes you feel better and more confident that is what is important, not what other people think.

[allibear]

Ok Sparrow so you don't feel too much like your cheating, me on a good day LOL

http://img229.imageshack.us/img229/3526/img0011r.jpg

[squirrelgirl6]

Hi all! hi: I've just been reading the posts about make-up. I have to applaud Mellisas reply. It brought tears to my eyes at how right she is! Since my skin problems started 5 months ago, I've been battling with the fact my skin has become intolerant to make-up and any other products. Whatever the reason, whether it's permanent or not......it has really made me have to dig DEEP to learn to live without my foundation, mascara and all the other stuff I loved sooooooooo much and try and accept 'natural' beauty. To be 'pretty' on the ouside was my way of handling the fact I'm very ill on the inside. Wont bore you with the deets but now that's been taken away from me...I do not feel like I'm me anymore and have grieved so much for the girl I was before 'no makeup anymore time' arrived! . YES, I know I am still 'me' but when you've been used to wearing makeup for confidence and when it comes down to it, attractiveness...your self confidence takes a massive blow. I know I'm a very kind, loving caring person and I spend my whole life helping others. This I've been told makes me who I am.

I read what Melissa wrote and I did cry. It is so true that you should love yourself for who you are and if someone else doesn't like the real you, without the slap then they are not worth your time. It does take something like rosacea or any facial/body condtion that affects the way you look...to make you realise just what and who are important.

When I now see ads on TV for foundations, mascara, hair colour, teeth whitener (that before all this would have sent me into product heaven! ) I just get so angry!!! mad1: They all say that to be beautiful is to buy and wear these products...'buy this lipstick..it's what beauty feels like' The glossy mags make you feel so ugly if you don't wear makeup and look like the girls in them. I once aspired to them myself and although I have a LONG way to go before I will accept I can't wear makeup for the moment (or however long...) it has certainly made me see how messed up this world is and how brain washed women are by these ads and mags and society. It's so sad.

If make-up helps you to feel better than that's great. We all need to do what we can to feel confident. I'm not against it at all but we shouldn't be made to feel like social outcasts if we can't wear it for whatever reason. The people who love you, for you are the ones you want in your life. If boyfriends etc don't like how you look then that's their problem and find one that does. They are out there- mine is amazing and loves me ill, well, no makeup, makeup, no legs or 2 heads!!! laugh:!!! hahaha. Anyone who is only interested in the 'packaging' aint worth jack.

OK, Rant over. Sorry if I've gone on a bit. I was just very inspired by reading the posts and it helped me so much to cope. THANK YOU VERY MUCH Love n hugs, SG6 xxxxxxxxxxxx

[allibear]

The people who love you, for you are the ones you want in your life. If boyfriends etc don't like how you look then that's their problem and find one that does.

Ah.... words I learnt to chew on a long time ago, even before I got Rosacea bad.

Only other issue about the makeup front is work. Unfortunately, depending on your job, that can be a bit of a thickle front as well. I work in an industry where appearence and personal presentation count, I'm afraid if I turned up for work without my war paint I probably would get booted out and it's not exactly a situation that I can say 'like it, or lump it', like I can to a manlaugh:

PS everyone that isn't really me in the above pic, just incase there were 'doubters'laugh:

[Lookout]

I am the opposite.....I never wore much if any makeup until rosacea ruined my life/skin! At 33 I didn't even own foundation and had no idea how to put it on.....I would only wear a tiny translucent powder and lipgloss....all that changed when the rosacea nightmare came along.....when I got it somewhat better I started using foundations.....and I find my skin likes the extra protection from the enviornment.....and psycholoically it has been a huge plus....once I put it on I do my best to forget I have rosacea....and find that I "blend" in with the rest of the world.....just how I like it.....nothing special but just blend in with everybody else........for me it's not about everybody else....it's about how I feel about it....that's what is important....my husband wouldn't say anything if I chose not to wear foundation but I do it for myself....it makes me feel good....helps me cope....some have rosacea that is more mild and perhaps foundation wouldn't provide this help but mine is dark red all the time so I get great benefit from using it everyday.....rain or shine! blush:

[GJ]

There's a broad spectrum of male shallowness, I guess. The Dalai Lama on the one end maybe and Cristiano Ronaldo on t'other.

Somewhere along that spectrum sits a good number of men (the majority, perhaps) who are probably not overly concerned about what their partner looks like at home but are keen that they look good, "make-an-effort" in the common parlance, when in public. Insecure beasts, it makes them feel good to be seen with an attractive partner etc etc

Make-up is the perfect antidote to this sort of shallowness and you should not feel at all guilty about wearing it.

[BingoBangoBongo]

I'm the exact same as you. Except being a dude.

My girlfriend.. or girlfriends from the past either have known and don't care or simply haven't said anything or they don't know altogether.

I mean, it's not noticable unless you stare at my face up close and that is depending on the light. I have the friends that would point that kind of crap out anyway and none have; nor do I get any weird looks so I'm ok. Then again I don't care what they think of me.


Anyway, you are who you are, and if he likes you, then chances are he likes you for who you are and not just because you appear to have a pretty face. Maybe he doesn't have to find out, because nobody else will unless you want them to. And really, I don't think it's such a big deal if he finds out because nobody else knows that you have rosacea/skin issues. Of course I'm speaking what I think. If I had a g/f that was in the same position, quite honestly I wouldn't care. I mean I'm the last person to feel 'mis-lead' or however you want to call it anyway. My entire appearance is a lie.

Again, remember, I'm a dude and I'm in the same position as you. You've got it waaaaaaaaaay easier.

Hope thats helpful hi: